It is hard to imagine a world without Alf. But one thing we might think about today is that Alf and Tracee lived for the past four and a half years with the reality that his life was to be cut short. The example they set in how to live courageously and make the most of every moment is an inspiration. During this testing time they lived here on Kangaroo Island and it is a great tribute to them both and their great capacity for connecting with people that so many are here today to celebrate Alf’s life and mourn his loss.
Only six months ago Alf was with us in Armidale full of plans renovating a house he and Trace had bought. With Colin, he worked tirelessly, painting, building and as usual barking instructions to those around him. He was unstoppable and so full of life and enthusiasm. For Tracee and the rest of us, it was as I said earlier, impossible to believe that Alf wouldn’t keep going like this for years. But it was not to be.
Today we are celebrating not only Alf’s remarkable life but the wonderful way that Tracee and their girls supported him and kept him going through one of the hardest challenges anyone could ever be asked to face.
I first really got to know Alf 15 years ago in the UK when he and Trace lived in a farmer’s cottage a few miles outside of Lancaster, northwest England. Alf had already won a reputation as an action man. He had a passion for flying ultralights, climbing mountains, getting about in a “fold up” boat, fishing and skiing as a mountain patroller. He also managed to practice medicine when he had the time.
Alf has always had a knack of getting himself and others into wild adventures. Like the time five of us were in a helicopter with him high above Mount Cook in New Zealand. The pilot kept hitting the dials and feeling the windscreen in a worried sort of way. The weather was closing in and the machine bounced around. While the rest of us feared for our lives, Alf, as he told me later, was busy working out which one of us would be the best to eat and who had the best gear to use if he alone survived the crash!
His endless appetite for action and adventure made him an exciting friend. He just loved to organise – himself, his family and his friends- often along the lines of a small military operation. His tours quickly became known as the “Bastard Tours” because we had all given up trying to keep up with the hectic pace he set. He was in a league of his own.
Every group of friends needs an Alf Rombout, someone who ensures that the “ties that bind” do not become stretched or frayed at the end. Alf nurtured many friendships and worked hard to keep the contact between people fresh and exciting.
He didn’t see the obstacles that others did. When he wanted to do something he just did it bringing along so many of us for the ride. Most of us dream about the perfect job and the perfect life but Alf was not satisfied just to dream. He converted them to reality with his easy charm, his fabulous sense of humour and his warmth.
One of the most significant dreams he and Tracee had that would occupy them for seven years was planned while they were in Nyngan, central NSW. Life in a big city hospital was not for them, they wanted to make a difference and felt that they could really add value to a smaller rural community by getting involved in a local country medical practice. They spent two years in Nyngan and integrated themselves into the fabric of the region making solid friendships with people from all walks of life.
While in Nyngan they planned their next adventure. A trip was planned in which they could travel and further their education. Alf was to study Tropical Medicine in the UK; Tracee was to qualify as a midwife. They got married in 1993 and then headed for the Northern Hemisphere. After several months touring Europe they eventually settled in Lancaster.
We met up again in the UK in 1994 and spent Christmas with them. I have countless tales of our journeys with Alf and Trace through the UK and to foreign cities. It was always great fun. The location became almost irrelevant – it was their company we adored. We built a bond with Alf and Trace at this time that will never be broken, and will never be weakened by absence.
Did any of you notice how much Alf could eat? He never seemed to put on weight but was forever prowling for food and thinking about his next meal. Many restaurants would fail the “Alf Test” as the menu was not good enough or the portions looked too small, so we would have to keep walking until a suitable venue was found.
Road journeys with Alf had to be punctuated with stopovers at McDonalds or Hungry Jacks, sometimes both. One time in the UK he and I were driving back from a day’s walking in the hills around Lancaster and he detoured about 15 miles out of the way just so he could get a Double Whopper with Cheese, for Alf, that was the Everest of hamburgers. He loved to work on his McAverage at every opportunity.
In 1996, when I returned home to my life in a nice secure office, Alf and Tracee took off on the next adventure in their self renovated Kombi, Ruby. Ruby took them through Europe and down to Syria and then all the way back, & over several months there was much correspondence between us about what they were doing and the fun they were having. One of the things I clearly remember about this period is the detail that Alf went to when describing their experiences. He really did live in the moment and take it all in. He would record his observations onto tapes and send them down for us to listen to, they were wonderful, vibrant in their description. The fact that he took the time to do such a thing is a true mark of the man. I noticed it again the other day when I was looking at a DVD he sent me of one of his more recent projects. He had taken the time to look at the smaller things on show, the minor details, the things that most of us would rush past and take for granted, the jewels that are hidden from the untrained eye. Alf did appreciate his surroundings, he took the time to step back and “smell the roses”.
Not content with just travelling around Europe, they returned to the UK, Ruby was sold and off they headed to India. Ruby’s replacement was a motorbike, the mighty Enfield and for the next few months the two of them and all of their worldly possessions traversed backwards and forwards across India on the back of a bike. Alf had such a strong spirit of adventure but he ensured that we all shared his adventures vicariously through his regular letters and tapes. He was a great communicator and he built his life on a wealth of experiences in preference to possessions. His world was rich with knowledge, observations and understanding.
Real things, memories.
When they returned to Australia in late 1997, Alf and Trace worked in Halls Creek WA for a year. Their initial intention was to do some NGO work in Asia but the bureaucratic delays could not be tolerated by either of them. A quick re think and they were soon practicing their trades in remote parts of the Kimberly. They built some strong relationships up there with many different people from different cultures, communities and circumstances.
They then moved to Bingara in NSW where they spent two years. This was a frustrating period for both of them. At the time some medical services were being ripped out of small towns like Bingara and being transferred to the larger regional centres. This type of initiative could destroy a community.
Alf had a cause. He fought the bureaucracy to maintain the medical services for that town and he fought hard because he believed in it. He even appeared on the 7.30 Report as part of the campaign. No one won this battle, eventually medical services were restored but it was all too late because the town had lost a very good Doctor along the way. Bingara fondly remembers the outsider who fought for them.
The next two years were spent searching for a permanent home. The south coast of NSW was not for them and they had outgrown the snowfields, but it was fun mixing business with pleasure once again.
A chance stint as a locum came up at Kingscote and the rest is history. That was roughly 6 years ago and it has been here that they have found a home and a place of true happiness.
Alf may have been considered to be stubborn although I think the polite term is “determined”.
Did any of you notice that about him?
A difficult trait to have, especially when you are also very competitive, and your wife is a much better card player than you. We once spent 12 hours of a rainy UK day sitting in a pub playing cards together … on and on we played, Alf determined to be victorious through sheer attrition.
One thing about Alf’s determination was clearly illustrated a few weeks ago. He loved the alpine environment and there was one part of it that he loved most of all, Guthega. This year the lifts were not all working so well and to get there meant a tough traverse with plenty of walking. Hard at the best of times but when you are facing the health issues that Alf had a few weeks back it would have been an ordeal. He did it anyway.
He got his wish through determination.
Alf could pretty much chance his arm at anything and was never afraid to have a go. During his 44 years he did much more than most
- Flew ultralights
- Renovated houses/cars
- Restored and collected old money boxes
- Restored antiques
- Wrote a novel
- Designed and made a quilt
- Built furniture
- He also battled Cancer.
This last one was the hardest of all for him but he faced it with determination and did his best to ensure that it did not drag him and those around him down. He looked it in the eye and gave the fight everything for nearly 5 years. It took a lot out of him physically, but it never took his spirit or his will to live.
He never once sought pity and although he was dealt (as he put it) the “c card” his enthusiasm for life remained until the very end.
Two things I will miss about Alf.
His smile.
Alf smiled with his eyes, it was a smile from the heart and it was sincere. His smile would light up a room.
And
His friendship.
Weeks could pass without speaking to Alf, or months could pass without seeing him. This did not matter at all as the conversation would pick up were we left off as if no time had passed in between. People were comfortable in his company, he would challenge them and question them, but never intimidate them. He could entertain but never overwhelm.
There is no question; this is why there are so many people here today.
Alf’s life has been a journey, a journey of enrichment, education and experience. He dared to live his dreams, he took risks at times and sometimes failed. Failure was never his enemy, monotony was. He was not perfect, he was no saint, and he screwed up just as many times as the next guy. What made Alf “Alf “ was that he knew that to truly learn and experience life one had to accept that we would not always get it right, that was just part of the journey. Alf soared where most of us wandered, he spent his life as a human doing, not a human being.
Alf’s was a flame that burnt brightly and attracted us all with his generous warmth, good humour and wise counsel. We have all coveted his friendship. Life was rich and exciting in Alf’s company.
He often used the phrase “you have to push the envelope” when describing a new challenge. If there was just one quality that he would want us to have, I think this may be it. Alf’s passing is a great loss to everyone, it is unfair and unjust and we shall all mourn deeply the void that has been left.
Our hearts and thoughts are with Tracee his soul mate; she has been his rock, his balance, she allowed him to soar while keeping him grounded. Tracee was his greatest fan and supporter. We can’t imagine the loss you feel, but we are with you through it all.
To his,
- beautiful daughters Mia and Delphi
- parents Ted and Tina
- sisters Leonie and Mariette
- Tracee’s parents Colin and Janice
- All extended family and friends
- And the community of Kingscote
We have come from near and far to share in this sorrow. We can only feel sorrow if we have truly experienced joy.
Alf was a provider of joy.
It is said that time is a great healer and that the pain of grief will pass. We are, all of us a long way away from that time. The point of today however, is to remember and reflect; to somehow find a point to it all; to search and explore the life of this extraordinary man whose life has meant so much to so many.
Alf not only gave us an example of how to live life to the fullest, he also showed us how to face the end of life in a way that was truly inspiring. Despite the pain and the suffering, he spent the last years of his life filling his days with action and adventures, not letting a moment pass and doing it at the pace we had come to expect from him.
Taking the life we have and living it to the full. That is Alf’s legacy for us all.