Alfred Rombout

Photos at Tracee and Alf’s home Oct. 2008

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Read by Ted Rombout(Alf’s Father) at Alf’s Memorial

After all the beautiful things said about Alf by Gerome , Paul and Sean, I would like to share with you something that is very precious to Tine and me.

Exactly ten years ago, when Tine suffered a cardiac arrest during our holiday in Armidale, Alfred and Tracee came rushing from Halls Creek in WA.
Alf bought Tine a book, in which he wrote a moving text and I would like to read this to you.

The music you’re listening to Alfred enjoyed very much. It’s an Impromptu from Schubert, which Tine always plays at the end of her piano practice.

I will now read you the text:

28-5-98.

Dear Mum,

I hope you feel well. I hope you are well, too – of course.

I suppose my worst fear is that you are suffering in some way. And then I would want to be with you to help you – but I’m not. So it is easy to be despondant about what has happened , how it might affect you, and the regrets I have as a son.

But actually, as I travel towards you in Armidale on the train, there is a lightness in my chest. I realise I am so happy that you are still with us. I’m grateful.

It’s a beautiful sunny day, the scenery is so green and pretty, and in just a few hours I’ll be with you.
I think I’m more happy than sad.
I love you very much. Get well soon.

Alf.

Read by Baldwin Van der Linden at Alf’s Memorial,  at the request of Leonie Rombout

Death is nothing at all

You have only slipped into the next room

You are you and I am I

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still

Call you by your old familiar name

Speak to you in the easy way which I’ve always used

Put no difference in my tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of you, pray for you

Let your name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it

Life means all that it ever meant

It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity

Why should you be out of mind because you are out of sight?

You are waiting for me, for an interval, somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well

Want to improve a water fight.. just add a trampoline…

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(Any individual photo in it’s full format (3872×2592) is available – just contact Dave)

It was hot… there was water… add kids and stand back…

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(Any individual photo in it’s full format (3872×2592) is available – just contact Dave)

Bit and pieces from Saturday Morning

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These are just some of my great memories with Alf was when he took me and my brother and Mia to Emu Bay and we swam with some dolphins and we drove through the salt water in the car……then he sold it

When we had a medical clinic Christmas lunch and he bought us all water pistols and got us all soaking wet, we then played hide & seek, he told us to go hide but forgot to come & look for us! We think he always had the most fun.

He used to come out and watch us do go-karts and by the next day he had put it all into a DVD with sound and all.

Alf was always a stirrer…king of the kids.
He was a really family person who always said there was nothing wrong with ice cream for breakfast.

These are just some of my good memories and I’m sure everyone has just as many good ones as I have had.

( Speech delivered at the Gravesite – 17th October – 2008)

It is hard to imagine a world without Alf. But one thing we might think about today is that Alf and Tracee lived for the past four and a half years with the reality that his life was to be cut short. The example they set in how to live courageously and make the most of every moment is an inspiration. During this testing time they lived here on Kangaroo Island and it is a great tribute to them both and their great capacity for connecting with people that so many are here today to celebrate Alf’s life and mourn his loss.

Only six months ago Alf was with us in Armidale full of plans renovating a house he and Trace had bought. With Colin, he worked tirelessly, painting, building and as usual barking instructions to those around him. He was unstoppable and so full of life and enthusiasm. For Tracee and the rest of us, it was as I said earlier, impossible to believe that Alf wouldn’t keep going like this for years. But it was not to be.

Today we are celebrating not only Alf’s remarkable life but the wonderful way that Tracee and their girls supported him and kept him going through one of the hardest challenges anyone could ever be asked to face.

I first really got to know Alf 15 years ago in the UK when he and Trace lived in a farmer’s cottage a few miles outside of Lancaster, northwest England. Alf had already won a reputation as an action man. He had a passion for flying ultralights, climbing mountains, getting about in a “fold up” boat, fishing and skiing as a mountain patroller. He also managed to practice medicine when he had the time.

Alf has always had a knack of getting himself and others into wild adventures. Like the time five of us were in a helicopter with him high above Mount Cook in New Zealand. The pilot kept hitting the dials and feeling the windscreen in a worried sort of way. The weather was closing in and the machine bounced around. While the rest of us feared for our lives, Alf, as he told me later, was busy working out which one of us would be the best to eat and who had the best gear to use if he alone survived the crash!

His endless appetite for action and adventure made him an exciting friend. He just loved to organise – himself, his family and his friends- often along the lines of a small military operation. His tours quickly became known as the “Bastard Tours” because we had all given up trying to keep up with the hectic pace he set. He was in a league of his own.

Every group of friends needs an Alf Rombout, someone who ensures that the “ties that bind” do not become stretched or frayed at the end. Alf nurtured many friendships and worked hard to keep the contact between people fresh and exciting.

He didn’t see the obstacles that others did. When he wanted to do something he just did it bringing along so many of us for the ride. Most of us dream about the perfect job and the perfect life but Alf was not satisfied just to dream. He converted them to reality with his easy charm, his fabulous sense of humour and his warmth.

One of the most significant dreams he and Tracee had that would occupy them for seven years was planned while they were in Nyngan, central NSW. Life in a big city hospital was not for them, they wanted to make a difference and felt that they could really add value to a smaller rural community by getting involved in a local country medical practice. They spent two years in Nyngan and integrated themselves into the fabric of the region making solid friendships with people from all walks of life.

While in Nyngan they planned their next adventure. A trip was planned in which they could travel and further their education. Alf was to study Tropical Medicine in the UK; Tracee was to qualify as a midwife. They got married in 1993 and then headed for the Northern Hemisphere. After several months touring Europe they eventually settled in Lancaster.

We met up again in the UK in 1994 and spent Christmas with them. I have countless tales of our journeys with Alf and Trace through the UK and to foreign cities. It was always great fun. The location became almost irrelevant – it was their company we adored. We built a bond with Alf and Trace at this time that will never be broken, and will never be weakened by absence.

Did any of you notice how much Alf could eat? He never seemed to put on weight but was forever prowling for food and thinking about his next meal. Many restaurants would fail the “Alf Test” as the menu was not good enough or the portions looked too small, so we would have to keep walking until a suitable venue was found.

Road journeys with Alf had to be punctuated with stopovers at McDonalds or Hungry Jacks, sometimes both. One time in the UK he and I were driving back from a day’s walking in the hills around Lancaster and he detoured about 15 miles out of the way just so he could get a Double Whopper with Cheese, for Alf, that was the Everest of hamburgers. He loved to work on his McAverage at every opportunity.

In 1996, when I returned home to my life in a nice secure office, Alf and Tracee took off on the next adventure in their self renovated Kombi, Ruby. Ruby took them through Europe and down to Syria and then all the way back, & over several months there was much correspondence between us about what they were doing and the fun they were having. One of the things I clearly remember about this period is the detail that Alf went to when describing their experiences. He really did live in the moment and take it all in. He would record his observations onto tapes and send them down for us to listen to, they were wonderful, vibrant in their description. The fact that he took the time to do such a thing is a true mark of the man. I noticed it again the other day when I was looking at a DVD he sent me of one of his more recent projects. He had taken the time to look at the smaller things on show, the minor details, the things that most of us would rush past and take for granted, the jewels that are hidden from the untrained eye. Alf did appreciate his surroundings, he took the time to step back and “smell the roses”.

Not content with just travelling around Europe, they returned to the UK, Ruby was sold and off they headed to India. Ruby’s replacement was a motorbike, the mighty Enfield and for the next few months the two of them and all of their worldly possessions traversed backwards and forwards across India on the back of a bike. Alf had such a strong spirit of adventure but he ensured that we all shared his adventures vicariously through his regular letters and tapes. He was a great communicator and he built his life on a wealth of experiences in preference to possessions. His world was rich with knowledge, observations and understanding.
Real things, memories.

When they returned to Australia in late 1997, Alf and Trace worked in Halls Creek WA for a year. Their initial intention was to do some NGO work in Asia but the bureaucratic delays could not be tolerated by either of them. A quick re think and they were soon practicing their trades in remote parts of the Kimberly. They built some strong relationships up there with many different people from different cultures, communities and circumstances.

They then moved to Bingara in NSW where they spent two years. This was a frustrating period for both of them. At the time some medical services were being ripped out of small towns like Bingara and being transferred to the larger regional centres. This type of initiative could destroy a community.

Alf had a cause. He fought the bureaucracy to maintain the medical services for that town and he fought hard because he believed in it. He even appeared on the 7.30 Report as part of the campaign. No one won this battle, eventually medical services were restored but it was all too late because the town had lost a very good Doctor along the way. Bingara fondly remembers the outsider who fought for them.

The next two years were spent searching for a permanent home. The south coast of NSW was not for them and they had outgrown the snowfields, but it was fun mixing business with pleasure once again.

A chance stint as a locum came up at Kingscote and the rest is history. That was roughly 6 years ago and it has been here that they have found a home and a place of true happiness.

Alf may have been considered to be stubborn although I think the polite term is “determined”.
Did any of you notice that about him?
A difficult trait to have, especially when you are also very competitive, and your wife is a much better card player than you. We once spent 12 hours of a rainy UK day sitting in a pub playing cards together … on and on we played, Alf determined to be victorious through sheer attrition.

One thing about Alf’s determination was clearly illustrated a few weeks ago. He loved the alpine environment and there was one part of it that he loved most of all, Guthega. This year the lifts were not all working so well and to get there meant a tough traverse with plenty of walking. Hard at the best of times but when you are facing the health issues that Alf had a few weeks back it would have been an ordeal. He did it anyway.
He got his wish through determination.

Alf could pretty much chance his arm at anything and was never afraid to have a go. During his 44 years he  did much more than most

• Flew ultralights
• Renovated houses/cars
• Restored and collected old money boxes
• Restored antiques
• Wrote a novel
• Designed and made a quilt
• Built furniture
• He also battled Cancer.

This last one was the hardest of all for him but he faced it with determination and did his best to ensure that it did not drag him and those around him down. He looked it in the eye and gave the fight everything for nearly 5 years. It took a lot out of him physically, but it never took his spirit or his will to live.

He never once sought pity and although he was dealt (as he put it) the  “c card” his enthusiasm for life remained until the very end.

Two things I will miss about Alf.
His smile.
Alf smiled with his eyes, it was a smile from the heart and it was sincere. His smile would light up a room.
And
His friendship.
Weeks could pass without speaking to Alf, or months could pass without seeing him. This did not matter at all as the conversation would pick up were we left off as if no time had passed in between. People were comfortable in his company, he would challenge them and question them, but never intimidate them. He could entertain but never overwhelm.

There is no question; this is why there are so many people here today.

Alf’s life has been a journey, a journey of enrichment, education and experience. He dared to live his dreams, he took risks at times and sometimes failed. Failure was never his enemy, monotony was. He was not perfect, he was no saint, and he screwed up just as many times as the next guy. What made Alf     “Alf “   was that he knew that to truly learn and experience life one had to accept that we would not always get it right, that was just part of the journey. Alf soared where most of us wandered, he spent his life as a human doing, not a human being.

Alf’s was a flame that burnt brightly and attracted us all with his generous warmth, good humour and wise counsel. We have all coveted his friendship. Life was rich and exciting in Alf’s company.

He often used the phrase “you have to push the envelope” when describing a new challenge. If there was just one quality that he would want us to have, I think this may be it. Alf’s passing is a great loss to everyone, it is unfair and unjust and we shall all mourn deeply the void that has been left.

Our hearts and thoughts are with Tracee his soul mate; she has been his rock, his balance, she allowed him to soar while keeping him grounded. Tracee was his greatest fan and supporter. We can’t imagine the loss you feel, but we are with you through it all.

To his,

• beautiful daughters Mia and Delphi
• parents Ted and Tina
• sisters Leonie and Mariette
• Tracee’s parents Colin and Janice
• All extended family and  friends
• And the community of Kingscote

We have come from near and far to share in this sorrow. We can only feel sorrow if we have truly experienced joy.

Alf was a provider of joy.

It is said that time is a great healer and that the pain of grief will pass. We are, all of us a long way away from that time. The point of today however, is to remember and reflect; to somehow find a point to it all; to search and explore the life of this extraordinary man whose life has meant so much to so many.

Alf not only gave us an example of how to live life to the fullest, he also showed us how to face the end of life in a way that was truly inspiring. Despite the pain and the suffering, he spent the last years of his life filling his days with action and adventures, not letting a moment pass and doing it at the pace we had come to expect from him.

Taking the life we have and living it to the full. That is Alf’s legacy for us all.

Saturday Lunch – Deliciously catered for by Janet and Craig.

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Alf Rombout was a remarkable man. In the 6 years I knew him he taught me many things. Amongst others he had two tenets by which he tried to live his life and encouraged others to do so:

“Life is a Journey not a Destination”

and

“Choose Happiness”

I am honoured to have known Alf and to have been asked to talk to you today. I hope that through my words you may understand not only what a good man and great Doctor he was, but also how he tried, despite the challenges, to be true to these two philosophies.

Alf acquired his medical degree being awarded Honours from the University of New South Wales in 1987. He spent his first two years at the Royal North Shore where not only did he gain much surgical experience, but also became re-acquainted with Tracee who was to accompany him on the incredible journey that has been their life story since.
By the end of his second resident year Alf realised that surgery was not for him, but rather saw him self as a generalist. He thought carefully about the skills essential to provide a competent and comprehensive service in his chosen setting – an Australian Country Town.
With this in mind and a very large sense of adventure, he and Tracee set off on a journey that would see him working in places as far flung as the United Kingdom, Halls Creek Western Australia, the New Zealand Ski Fields, Nyngan New South Wales, and ultimately Kangaroo Island.

Along the way he achieved many Qualifications including the

• Diploma Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology
• Diploma in Child Health
• Diploma in Tropical Medicine and Hygiene
• Fellow of the Australian College of Rural and Remote Medicine
• Radiology Licence
• Avalanche Control Certificate

Alf also gained experience in other areas of medicine including Anaesthetics, Acupuncture, Alpine Rescue, Aero Medical, and Aboriginal Health.

With all this under his belt Alf was clearly equipped to provide a competent service the community of his choice.
It was not, however, the certificates hanging on his wall that made Alf a great Doctor.
Rather it was his many qualities including

• His work ethic
• His requirement that he and those around him practice to a very high standard
• His ability to keep on questioning the diagnosis and management even once a course had been set
• His passionate advocacy on the part of others
• His clarity of thinking
• His single or some would say bloody mindedness

There are many among you here today that have benefitted greatly from Alf’s work;
There are those, me included, who appreciated his expertise and diligence as a colleague;
And there will be some with whom he locked horns in the work arena.

We all know, however, that in his professional life Alf was driven by the principal that it was his role to do the very best he could for those who had entrusted their care to him

Armed with his qualifications, medical and life experiences, Alf set off with Tracee to find the town that they would call home. It needed to be remote, but big enough to have a hospital allowing Alf use his skill base; it had to have a good sense of community; it would allow him and Tracee to develop their extra curricular interests; and it would be a place they felt comfortable bringing up their children.
In 2001 their journey bought them to Kangaroo Island for a locum during which time I had the pleasure of working with and getting to know Alf.
After one particularly busy period I asked Alf if he would like to join me fishing for salmon at South West River. The drive to Hanson Bay took 45 minutes during which Alf polished off a beef pie, chicken pie, and a burger with the lot. He introduced me to his philosophy on food – protein and carbs were required for energy, but salt and fat were the essential ingredients for taste. When we arrived the surf was pumping, with huge white rollers crashing on to dry sand and then rushing up the beach. Together we walked casting into the surf and talking about work, medical politics, family, travels and fishing. Alf caught 6 large salmon and declared it “one of the best days fishing he had ever had”. For me it was not only good fishing but also the beginning of a great and enduring friendship.

After his locum on KI ended Alf and Tracee moved to a town in country New South Wales where they felt they may like to settle. I was very sad to see them go, and felt somehow cheated having found someone with whom I worked well, I respected greatly, and who had become a good friend.
Unfortunately for Moruya Alf rang me two months later asking “would we have him back?”

For six years Alf has been a member of the Kangaroo Island Medical Clinic with admitting rights to the Kangaroo Island Health Service. He was dedicated to the provision of quality care, and took the responsibility of managing a persons health needs very seriously. He was compassionate to those in need, but had a low tolerance for anyone he thought was not playing their part in the therapeutic relationship.
Alf could not tolerate seeing people dealt with in anything but what he saw as a competent and just way. It was anathema to him when people did not get the care they deserved due to bureaucratic rules or regulations. Be it at the Surgery, the Hospital, with Medicare, at the School, or with Ministers of the Crown, Alf would fearlessly and aggressively seek to rectify the wrongs he perceived. In many of these instances he and I agreed and worked together. Our approaches were very different and complimentary – he liked to call it our “good cop bad cop” routine.

Of particular importance to Alf was the provision of a comprehensive and safe Maternity unit on Kangaroo Island. He saw it as unacceptable that women could not birth in their own community. He was instrumental in ensuring the Obstetric Service became a reality, even to the point that having been forced to retire from work due to illness he continued to provide an anaesthetic on call service – This was done on a completely voluntary basis.

Having decided to settle on Kangaroo Island Alf with Tracee built their beautiful family home and created an environment that was safe and inviting for their family and friends.
In 2002 they had Mia who was to become Alfs princess and pride and joy. Together with her Daddy, Mia went swimming, drew pictures, travelled to Singapore, and ate anything as long as it wasn’t green.
Against all odds and to Alf and Tracee’s great joy Delphi was born 15 months ago here on the Island. Though times have been difficult since her birth, Delphi’s perpetual smile, and infectious spirit have been a beacon of light throughout.

As well as his commitment to work and Family, Alf was well known amongst those close to him for his woodworking, engineering, tree propagation and planting, fishing, crabbing, dolphin trips, prodigious appetite, and his endless desire to entertain the children he found around him – as many of you would know Alf was in fact the biggest kid of all.
Alf immersed himself in his new surroundings to the point that he adopted its local footy code, though maintaining the link to his past by becoming a loyal and passionate supporter of the Sydney Swans Football Club.
4 years ago, whilst pulling a catamaran up a beach Alf developed pain in the left chest wall. Typical of Alf he did not want to bother anyone and went to the hospital to take his own xray. Tracee alerted me but begged me not to tell him that she had called.
With in a couple of weeks Alf was to have a massive operation to remove a large tumour from his chest. He went on to endure Radiotherapy, a punishing Chemotherapy Regime early in the illness, and various other treatments including one given to him by a patient. The treatments though successful in removing most of tumour left Alf with debilitating complications including breathlessness, reflux, fatigue and constant daily pain. He rarely complained preferring, to the best of his ability to remain active, playing squash for a period, working at the Surgery and Hospital, and in recent months renovating a house with his Father in Law Norm and life long friend Paul Vale.
Four weeks ago, having already lost 16 kg in 8 weeks Alf refused to entertain the thought of pulling out of a planned holiday, and so the Rombouts, van der Lindens and Vales all made the journey to the New South Wales snow country. Despite everything Alf managed three sessions on the Skis that week, including a very important last visit to look at his favourite mountain range from the deck of the pub at Guthega.

Having spent 10 weeks unable to swallow, three weeks ago Alf commenced a new immunotherapy which almost overnight healed the massive ulcers in his throat. With in days, however, he went on to develop two new conditions that gave him profound muscular weakness. His Doctors were perplexed. True to form it was Alf who ordered the test that was to diagnose the first of these conditions. Despite aggressive treatment Alf’s weakness was progressive and in a cruel twist of irony these conditions once again made it impossible for him to swallow. As in the rest of his life though Alf continued to look after those around him and in his last week he encouraged me to take my Father out to dinner at the European Cafe where he had previously joined the two of us. Alf went on to tell me that he had so enjoyed the Saltimbocca the night we went together, he had returned to the Restaurant the very next night and ordered it again.

On Wednesday the 8th of October, Alf’s died at the Memorial Hospital in Adelaide.
For those of us left behind the depth of loss was almost unimaginable,
For Alf it brought peace to a body that had fought so hard it could fight no more.
At his side was the person he loved most in the world and who in turn loved him Tracee. Surrounding him were photos of Mia, and Delphi, as well as beautiful pictures Mia had drawn for him when she visited two days previously.

Alf was

• a fabulous friend
• a great Doctor
• a doting Father
• and a loving husband

Our collective loss is huge, but far more is our gain for having known, worked, lived, supped, played with
and loved our mate Alf

These are the photos from the Funeral Service Slide Show

You can see all 450+ photos in the Wake Slide Show

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These are the photos from the Funeral Service Slide Show

You can see all 450+ photos in the Wake Slide Show

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These are the photos from the Funeral Service Slide Show

You can see all 450+ photos in the Wake Slide Show

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These are the photos from the Funeral Service Slide Show

You can see all 450+ photos in the Wake Slide Show

[Show as slideshow]

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These are the photos from the Funeral Service Slide Show

You can see all 450+ photos in the Wake Slide Show

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Some of the children’s pictures, as displayed at the Town Hall – 17th October 2008